The Sweet Release of Death

So, my postings are shit, to say the least. I have been extremely busy studying my ass off while accruing hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loan debt in pursuit of a professional degree that will end in my subpar transcript being the lead bearer of my failure in a saturated job market, but I digress.

A few things that I have learned whilst living in this great white north:

1. The sun doesn't shine as harshly as in Lower Alabama.
2. If the majority of your family moves to Lower Alabama, Minnesotans will refer to you as the "sophisticated southern gentleman."
3. No one notices that you pounded 15 Coors lights in an hour solely because happy hour only lasts for 45 minutes before you have to take an hour long shuttle to get home.
4. If you put a New Orleans Saints bumper sticker on your car, you will have a large collection of key scratches on your paint job within 12 hours.
5. Personality is key.
6. Near Beer isn't even close.
7. Liquor stores that sell real beer close at 8:00 PM on weeknights.
8. It really isn't worth scheduling 8 hours of class time on Tuesdays and Thursdays so you can have Fridays off.
9. Marriage is still a wonderful experience, but terrifying when you don't know how to console your wife because she keeps getting screwed over by "Minnesota Nice"
10. Honesty is so much better than being nice.


Anyone have any words of wisdom? Anyone still reading this? Leave a comment. I am so lonely in my mundane life of potential failure or potential success.