The Front Has Moved In

Yesterday marked the second day of classes. It also marked the culmination of all that is wrong with putting complete retards in control of every aspect of a Law School. Who made the mistakes? One person. Who got their asses chewed? Me.

A few good things did come out of yesterday. I had a couple of professors stand up for me while I dealt with the torrent of angry students wanting nothing less than a pound of my flesh and a gallon of my blood (and to get into a class that has been closed for three weeks). I also managed to pay all the bills that I had, stacked up over the past month and a half. It is always good to go home and not have to light thirty-seven candles and a can of sterno just to cook some baked beans for dinner. But besides that, the day lasted forever. Students came in every five minutes, either completely lost or completely pissed. I battered them away, answering questions I knew the answer to but had no right answering, until around three o'clock.

It was then that something deep inside of the recesses of my brain snapped, and the world turned itself upside down. I started answering questions with the wrong answers, I started raising my voice to a louder pitch than I was getting yelled at. I almost threatened bodily harm on someone, with witnesses. Luckily, my boss stepped in and told me to cool down, but hell, I hadn't been that angry with someone since my brother pinned me down spread eagle and spit tobacco juice in my eye until it stained the carpet (oh to be eight years old again). I ended up stabbing my brother with a Swiss Army knife for that transgression, imagine what I would do now that I am an lumbering juggernaut of raw man power.

My sister sent me this email to cheer me up. It was one of those "Forward this to ten people or you will lose your left testicle to an angry swarm of militant feminist custodians" but, you know, about the love of Jesus for us but how we don't have time to pray to him because we are all way too busy looking up porn on the internets. I doctored it up and am going to hell. If you would like a copy, leave a comment and I will forward it on to you.