Facebook You Heinous Bitch Goddess

So, I cancelled my facebook account. Well, I did as much as I could. I made it no longer accessible to either me or anyone else in the world. You never lose your facebook account. It will always be out there, waiting to bring down your political career for friending a porn star or ruining your marriage because one night you just might have been drunk enough to not tell if it really was a woman and not a goat shaped tree stump. Whatever.

In other news, I have rediscovered a timeless pet peeve of mine. Last night, while making steaks for the wife, she decided to microwave a potato. She put it in, and, like all foods she prepares in the microwave, used a preset setting. Well, about four and a half minutes into the five minute cycle, she hits the stop button, takes her potato out, closes the microwave, and walks away. What is left is a thirty second timer staring out at all who dare meet its gaze. Maybe I have some sort of phobia against stopped timers, like they will start up again and doom us all to the inevitable fate we all must face, but in thirty seconds. Maybe I am too damn lazy to read the analog clock in front of me, especially when I am trying to roughly time how long a steak has been in the skillet.

I had asked her before, more than once mind you, to clear the timer when she was done. She never does, so I clear it as soon as she leaves the room with whatever food item she was nuking. Last night was no exception. Unfortunately for the microwave, I had a touch of the roid rage from too much treadmilling at the gym, I ended up hitting the cancel button about four dozen times in two seconds. The wife asked me what was wrong with the microwave. I explained my pet peeve again and she said she would try to hit the cancel button in the future.

This morning, she made oatmeal in the microwave. My life felt like it stalled out four seconds before it ended.